Well last week I had a terrible start to the week in my world. I’m still having a bit of a hard time digesting the news that one of my precious friends took her own life last weekend. I still can’t really fully even comprehend the news. It has def been a week of ups and downs for sure.
During a time of year where I am normally excited to celebrate my birthday and the blessings in my life, I am taken back to the reality that my sweet friend is no longer with us.
I know for a fact she is in heaven, and although that brings comfort, I am also mourning and grieving her loss.
I have been through a range of emotions over the past 8 days. Shock, sadness, anger, feeling depressed and frustration. Part of me felt guilty celebrating my 35th birthday but I know she wouldn’t want that.
And knowing my own story I know she would want me to celebrate.
I never thought I would make it past age 25. I was in my own deep dark place and my life felt worthless to me. I know I am not alone having been through a time like that in life. I wish that no one had to deal with that kind of intense pain that makes one’s soul feel shattered.
Despite feeling really sad about my friend, I was also able to embrace life this past weekend and continue to be grateful for the life and the friendships that I do have.
I was able to celebrate with my husband on and off throughout the weekend.
Breakfast with Marilena (one of my newest friends) and lunch with Becky (my friend who I have known the longest). And Jessica (not pictured) came over after we returned from our weekend away.
I miss L SO much, but I know that I have to keep on living and helping others along they way.
I am so very thankful I have made it to 35! I have many wonderful memories and friendships from my years this far on this earth. I am surrounded daily by people who love me for me, and bless my life so much!! Life is a gift and I intend to keep the gift as long as possible!