The Ups and downs of Turning 35

Hello friends! 

Well last week I had a terrible start to the week in my world. I’m still having a bit of a hard time digesting the news that one of my precious friends took her own life last weekend. I still can’t really fully even comprehend the news. It has def been a week of ups and downs for sure. 

During a time of year where I am normally excited to celebrate my birthday and the blessings in my life, I am taken back to the reality that my sweet friend is no longer with us. 

I know for a fact she is in heaven, and although that brings comfort, I am also mourning and grieving her loss. 

I have been through a range of emotions over the past 8 days. Shock, sadness, anger, feeling depressed and frustration. Part of me felt guilty celebrating my 35th birthday but I know she wouldn’t want that. 

And knowing my own story I know she would want me to celebrate.

I never thought I would make it past age 25. I was in my own deep dark place and my life felt worthless to me. I know I am not alone having been through a time like that in life. I wish that no one had to deal with that kind of intense pain that makes one’s soul feel shattered. 

Despite feeling really sad about my friend, I was also able to embrace life this past weekend and continue to be grateful for the life and the friendships that I do have. 

I was able to celebrate with my husband on and off throughout the weekend. 

I was blessed to spend time with 3 of my beautiful friends. 

Breakfast with Marilena (one of my newest friends) and lunch with Becky (my friend who I have known the longest). And Jessica (not pictured) came over after we returned from our weekend away. 

It was a weekend full of laughter and joy and some tears too. 

I miss L SO much, but I know that I have to keep on living and helping others along they way. 

I am so very thankful I have made it to 35! I have many wonderful memories and friendships from my years this far on this earth. I am surrounded daily by people who love me for me, and bless my life so much!! Life is a gift and I intend to keep the gift as long as possible! 

I am linking up with HoHo Runs and MissSippiPiddlin today for their Weekly Wrap!

Be filled with health and joy! 

31 thoughts on “The Ups and downs of Turning 35

  1. Powered by BLING (@PoweredbyBLING)

    Esther, I’m so thankful that you made it out of that dark place. I’m sorry for the loss of your friend. One of my friends committed suicide 2 years ago today and last year, we lost one of our close friends sons at the age of 11 to suicide. I’m glad that you were surrounded by love at your birthday to celebrate the amazing woman that you are!

  2. Amy @ Life to the Full

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend… Happy birthday to you, you were able to celebrate with so many loved ones! Each day, each year is a blessing from God and may 35 be a blessed year for you!

  3. HoHo Runs

    I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend. Birthdays are definitely worth celebrating. As we all have experienced, life can be fragile and death unexpected. HAPPY 35th BIRTHDAY!! Thanks for linking, Esther.

  4. Emily Swanson

    My heart hurts knowing that your friend isn’t here any longer. Death is sad, but I pray by God’s grace that you might see her in heaven someday. ❤ Thankful that you are savoring and rejoicing over the years that you've been given.


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