Let’s Love, Not judge!

Something happened to me last week that I really was not expecting.  It was actually a bit shocking and took me back to some painful memories.  Then it made me angry.  And then sad.  And frustrated. I guess part of me still had hope that by the time I reached my mid-30s, this kind of situation would not happen any more.

I was shamed once again for my weight.  And not just by a random stranger (although that as also happened), but by a medical professional. And I am really saddened when I hear these kinds of stories.  I have a few amazing Sweat Pink sisters who have also dealt with body shaming, and it makes me angry!

  • Jen was shamed when trying to find a bra!
  • Farrah was shamed because she is strong!
  • Kaila has been shamed for her lifestyle!
  • Susie has been shamed for her running!

Since the incident last week my mind has dug up a few memories from the past and I have had to re-process them, and remind myself that I am NOT those things that people said, and my worth is NOT based on my weight.

Here are just a few examples of things said to me over the years…from family members, strangers, acquaintances, classmates, doctors and boyfriends.

* You would be so beautiful if you lost weight.
* When you wear red you look like a fat tomato.
* If you stay the same weight and grow taller you will actually be skinnier.
* How can you have a boyfriend when you are fat?
* Have you ever considered weight loss surgery?
* Have you ever tried doing cardio?
And the latest
* Well, you know, your back muscles are tight because of your weight.

Excuse me? Did I hear that right? You think I am tight solely because I have some extra pounds to lose?
How about instead of judging me, you ask me some questions? Because if you did, I would tell you that I have been increasing the amount of weights I have been lifting. And that can cause me to be tighter.  And I have been taking care of sick kiddos. And I have spent extra time in the kitchen lately cooking. And have done extra driving. And slept funny.  And my thyroid is a mess and needs some TLC.
So yes, there are many reasons I can be tighter due to my lifestyle but NONE of those reasons mean you should judge me. Or anyone for that matter.
I did not come to be judged once again for what I look like.

Once upon a time that kind of judgement would cause me to make poor choices that would only hurt myself.  I am SO thankful that I have SO many wonderful people in my life who hear this kind of story and want to jump to my defense.
Those who judge me don’t know I have run over 100 races.
They don’t know that I love to cook healthy and delicious meals for my family and friends.
They don’t know that I lift weights, run, Zumba,  box, do yoga, eat well, drink loads of water and enjoy life.
They just don’t know.

But I know. And those who I choose to have in my life know.
And I choose to NOT let their words change who I am.

So to you who have judged me, I wish you the best.  I wish you can find happiness for your life so you don’t have to judge anyone else.

And I am going to keep on living my fabulous life just the way I am!

Be filled with joy and health!
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I am linking up with Julie from Running in a Skirt for her #bestofblogs link up 🙂  Come join the fun!
best-of-blogs-linkup

29 thoughts on “Let’s Love, Not judge!

  1. Amanda Fox

    You are one of the most beautiful women I have ever known and beyond the value you hold as a person, woman, wife, nannie, friend, retired RA :), sister, daughter, church member, blogger, racer, fitness enthusiast, etc you are one of the greatest encouragers. You are a servant, you are kind, and your love changes lives. You have an ability to motivate people and encourage them and make them feel loved and needed. I know this first hand. These gifts/strengths are ETERNAL! I admire your ability to put people first because you know that is what lasts. I also have to remind myself what my true race is. You are winning the race! Personally I am glad that God won’t be weighing me at the gates of heaven :). Love you girl. Keep up all the hard work

    Reply
  2. awhiskandtwowands

    I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s so sad to see our society has become more negative and putting people down. What happened to the days I grew up in where “If you don’t have something nice to say don’t say nothing at all” or “treat others as you would like to be treated” or just being kind and compassionate? It’s really sad and with two young girls it makes me sad to see how so many kids treat each other when I’m volunteering at the school. I just want to start calling parents and not just those being rude, mean, and inconsiderate but those who have kind well behaved children that care about others.

    Reply
    1. chocolaterunnergirl Post author

      You are so right! It’s like so many people don’t care about being kind anymore! When I’m working with kids I emphasize that kindness is what makes them the most attractive! A kind heart will always win!
      Good job mama on raising sweet girls!

      Reply
  3. Farrah

    I’m really glad you have awesome people in your life and that you didn’t take that doctor’s words to heart. You’re effing awesome and it saddens me that people are still so quick to judge without knowing anything about you. You do so much more than the vast majority of people out there–you keep doin’ you! ❤ Keep that positive outlook! <3!! :]

    Reply
  4. Jill Conyers (@jillconyers)

    I love love the very last sentence and so happy to see it. Other people’s shaming and judgement is more about who they are as a person than it is about who they’re shaming. It’s not always easy but when it happens we need to just let it go and take the power away from it. You do you!

    Reply
  5. Julie @ Running in a Skirt

    Holy smokes, girl! People suck! You are beautiful just the way you are! I’m sure it hurt to hear this, but I’m glad you have the sense to rise above.

    Reply
  6. GiGi Eats Celebrities

    Judgments stem from insecurities of one’s own self… Jealousy. I, for one, do not judge anyone as I am truly happy with who I am as a person and just love life. Those who judge I feel truly sorry for. Sadly, it will continue to always happen 😦

    Reply
  7. Emily Knight (@OurKnightLife)

    I think you are beautiful and you might need a new doctor. I’m sorry people are dumb. Surround yourself with those who love you and try to brush that sh&t off. I know – I’m not at my ideal weight and have heard some not so fun stuff from people.

    Reply
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  9. Julie @ Running in a Skirt

    This really was such a good, honest post! Stopping by again to thank you for linking up! Tweeting as a thank you. I hope to see you again for the linkup in October… Friday, the 28th!

    Reply
  10. Emily Swanson

    Wow, yes, it is so important to love people because they are people. People are special; God made each person unique, and I want to just love each person unconditionally instead of shaming them. Thank you for the reminder. ❤

    Reply
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